


The Time Wade Got Catfished. Again.

by egress



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Catfished, M/M, Online Dating, Peter is confused and he doesnt know whats going on, Wade got catfished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egress/pseuds/egress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the Internet, a lot of people get catfished, Wade is just too stupid and too desperate to even notice.</p><p>Someone catfished Wade, using Peter Parker's identity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the time someone took a picture of wade

Pathetic. Wade feels pathetic and not that quite surprised. But still, he had his hopes up, he actually kind of liked this guy, and thought maybe the guy would look past his scars. Who can blame the guy, not even he can look past his own scarred skin.

Peter Parker was the guy's name, or, it might be some other person's name. He's not sure if he got catfished, again, or if this Peter guy stood him up.

Peter might’ve really went to their destination - this stupid aquarium place - saw his ugly mug, left, blocked him, and fled to another country. Who knows? Not Wade, Wade didn't even get to see if this Peter is even how he looks like on his profile.

“Fucking hell.” Wade grumbles to himself. Shoving his hands deep into the pocket of his hoodie, shrinking farther into his hood, and his eyes on the ground, with his cap covering at least half of his face, hoping to god no one would scream and run.

Wade feels nothing more than feeling vulnerable without his mask. Even though he doesn't want to look to actually be sure, he knows people are staring and not in a good way. When they're talking to him, he feels as if they already know his answer before they even get to ask one. He feels so exposed and vulnerable.

Taking out his phone, he scoffs, when he noticed that Peter really did block him. He shakes his head, wondering why he even still has hope that someone would like him anyway. Even he wouldn't like himself.

Whatever! He has his weapons, tacos, and Spider-Man, and and and pancakes! He doesn't need any more, he's okay with how things are going for him. Really.

It's not like most people treat him like shit when he's wearing the mask - even people who calls themselves superheros - (Except Spider-Man, okay maybe the first few times, Spider-Man was also like the other heroes, but Wade has bugged the hero enough that Wade grew on him. Spider-Man had actually started to like him and respect him.) it's not like people look at him with disgust and pity when they see his unmasked face on the streets. It's not like he's immortal, and having a bullet to his brain could keep him dead and away from this shitty hell hole. No.

With a long sigh, Wade walks home. His head down, and his gloved hands in his pockets.

He doesn't need to keep his head straight to know where he's going, he's been walking on this part of the city with his head down for a while now, he just needs a few glance up once in awhile to be sure of where he's going.

And one time he glances up, he sees Peter taking a picture of his unmasked face.

Quickly looking away, to hide his face, he feels embarrassed, he feels violated because the fucking kid just took picture without him knowing. That kid might be laughing right now, he'll most probably send a picture of Wade’s scarred face to his friends and laugh.

Wade wants nothing but to threaten the kid, and smash his camera. But as he was looking down, he realised that he shouldn't even bother anymore. 

Another sigh leaving his lips, he continues on walking.

“W-Wait, Wade, stop!” Peter called from behind, and Wade internally groans when he could hear the boy running after him. What does he even want?

Still, Wade doesn't stop, he only quickens his pace on his walk home. That is, until Peter grabs his arm, the boy's grip was so gentle, that Wade felt like slapping it away, but he only shrugs it off as he stopped walking, waiting for Peter to start talking. “What more do you want? Don't you have to send that to all your friends and laugh about how I actually showed up?”

“Wh-What? What friends? You showed up where? What?”

The confusion on the brunet’s eyes almost convinced Wade that Peter really doesn't know anything. Almost. 

Wade fished his phone out of his pocket, opened it to Peter’s profile and shoved it to the boy's chest, the phone almost falling if it wasn't for Peter’s reflexes. 

With furrowed brows, Peter looked at the phone. His once confused eyes slowly widening. “Uhm? I don't even have tinder, or any online dating account… or any online dating app… I can't even talk to people without feeling awkward and or uncomfortable.” Peter finished with a small laugh, his smile then faltering. “Er, sorry, that, uhm, you got catfished, I don't know why someone would even use my identity.”

The scarred man huffs, taking his phone, and shoving it back to his pocket, his eyes going everywhere but Peter, his head sulking farther into the back of his hood. “It's whatever, I don't care. I mean, that's not the third time this happened. I only sent him a couple thousand bucks, it's nothing - wait, how did you know my name?” Upon realising, Wade’s voice had gotten an octave lower when he asked. Not bothering anymore about the fact that the guy he had been talking to used Peter’s identity to leech money off of him. It's not really a surprise, really, the guy always refused to meet up, but kept asking for money. Wade being the idiot he is (Also kind of desperate) also refused to meet up, and just sent money to the guy. He's not sure if who he was talking to was even a guy.

“Oh… You're uhm, you're deadpool, right? I kinda always see you whenever I'm taking pictures of Spider-Man.”

Oh, right. Wade remembers talking online and the guy at the other end mentioning the fact that he takes pictures of Spider-Man.

“Right.” He mutters under his breath, and nods, still not looking at Peter. “Why did you take a photo of me anyway?”

“Erm, uh, I uh, wasn't taking a photo of you, I was taking a photo of the.. the sky-”

“Yeah, I'm gonna go now.”

“W-Wait. Would you like erm, to, er, grab some pizza?” The lanky boy awkwardly rubs the back of his head.

Wade giggles. He actually giggled. Peter really did tell him the truth about being awkward, the guy he talked to for two months is nowhere near this adorable.

But he really doesn't like pity. Wade isn't that big of an idiot, he knows Peter is only doing this because he feels bad that Wade got catfished. It's the Internet, a lot of people get catfished, Wade is just stupid and too desperate to notice. 

So, he declines. “No thanks, I have things to do.”

One of those things was following Peter home... Just to make sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was really shitty
> 
> There's still a part two, yea
> 
> My other idea was. Peter was waiting to meet the guy he met online, but the guy didn't show up, and Wade saw this as his “time to shine” and pretended that he's the guy that Peter had been talking to… but idk, I'll think about it.


	2. the time wade couldn't believe this is his life

Following a lanky teenager around wasn't as easy as Wade thought it would be. With his job, following a boy around shouldn't be difficult, but it was.

Wade just pouted, and bought himself a hotdog from a stand.

The next few days, Wade went around the city, wearing his suit and mask. This was a little better than walking around Queens wearing oversized hoodies, trying his best not to draw attention. He feels vulnerable walking around without his mask. With his suit, he feels secure.

And so his search continues.

He was only following the teenager around because he can feel that this college boy is shady and is doing something shady. And also because he wanted to make sure that Peter isn't really the Peter he was talking to. Also because the boy is cute…. And Wade doesn't know how normal people do normal things when they like someone.

Wade couldn't find the reason why, but whenever Peter reaches his own home, Wade doesn't stay any longer. Maybe because waiting outside a building is just too boring? Wade doesn't like being in one place for too long.

As days went by, Wade starts to notice that he hasn't seen Peter taking any pictures of Spider-Man, yet there are still pictures of said hero going around. 

When he's always with his camera though, he's always looking for someone, mostly waiting at rooftops, then seeming disappointed after waiting for a few hours. Sometimes even catching the boy a few feet behind him. Wade knows something is up.

It's only been a week of watching Peter, and Wade is very confused. 

The other night, Wade saw Spider-Man crawl out of Peter’s window. The first thing Wade thought, was. “Holy shit, Spidey is fucking Peter!” But then his second thought, was. “Wait, Spidey is Petey?” That theory was debunked by him just a few seconds later, because, how can an awkward, lanky, teenaged nerd like Peter, be, his hero, role model, and best friend (who has the nicest ass) Spider-Man? It just wouldn't make sense, so, Wade thought. “Holy shit, Spidey is fucking Peter!” again.

Yet, Wade is still not sure. And that's how he finds himself staying at a rooftop beside the building Peter is living in, and binoculars with him as he watches Peter enter his apartment. He brought lots of snacks with him, and a folding chair just so he would be comfortable. 

The whole time Wade was watching, Peter was just on his desk, Wade presumes Peter is doing his college nerd shit. Peter always does this, and now Wade remembers why he doesn't stay around. He groans out loud, throwing out his limbs, almost kicking off the cans of sodas off the roof, and drops his binoculars on his lap. “Ugh! What the actual fuck is my life? When did I drop so low that I'm watching college boys do their homework?!”

Wade fell asleep soon after.

When Wade woke up, it was already dark. By the watch on his wrist, it's already eight in the evening. He groans again. The scarred man brought the binoculars to his eyes to look at Peter’s window. Peter wasn't there, and the lights were off. Wade groans again. “Ugh!”

That's it. Wade is going in there.

++++

Wade wished he hadn't gone in there.

So this was the shady shit Peter was doing.

Seriously, what the fuck?

“Seriously, what the fuck?” Wade breathed out, eyes scanning the room. “Who the fuck even has time for this? Who the hell would even do this? Who the hell would even want to do this? Why the hell would he even think about doing this? Is this his fucking hobby? I knew he was shady but I didn't think this is what he's doing.”

Every single angle possible of Wade’s body, whether hrs with a suit, or wearing a huge jacket, has a photo, and is hanging on the fucking wall.

There are photos of his unmasked face. Even just a small part of his body has a photo.

“And I thought I was crazy?!” He loudly asked himself, finally having it in him to lift his legs and walk about the room with his jaw hanging in shock. Wade opened another room, he wasn't surprised to find a dark room. “I thought this kid is poor?!” 

The masked mercenary walked back to a wall where pictures of his unmasked face was littered everywhere. How can Peter even stand this? What does Peter want with these? Is he selling pictures of Wade to some shady people? What the hell is going on?

There was a tiny sound that emitted from the living room, and Wade had his gun, and his katana out in an instant, but before he could do any damage he was webbed to the wall.

Okay, maybe Peter really is Spider-Man.

But Wade doesn't see anyone. Not even from where he was webbed from. Wade knows Peter is there, the boy just doesn't want to talk.

“What, is your house programmed to web intruders or something? By something I mean, do you just have a kink for webbing people, who you take thousands of pictures of?” He asks, slipping the knife on his sleeve to his hand. “Please tell me this isn't you, Spidey. I thought you're a really cool guy, not some awkward college boy who takes pictures of all my angles?! I know I'm pretty, but I'm not that pretty!” He finishes, cutting the webs off his arm fully, then turning to free his other arm from webs.

All of a sudden, there was another set of webs pinning Wade to the wall. “Oh come on! This shit isn't easy to get rid off!”

“Why are you here, Wade?” Spider-Man finally appeared, wearing his suit and mask, walking in on the room, with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Why are you the one who's doing that stance? I'm the one who's being taken lots of pictures of without my knowledge!”

“You broke in on a house that's not yours!”

“Peter, you really think, me breaking in here, is worse? Since when did you start this anyway?” The scarred man gave up trying to get away from the webs, seeing as Peter would just Web him again, and he is not going to waste any energy on this.

“I don't want to answer that.”

“Uh, yes the hell you do! You have a whole room full of me! That's crazy! Even for me! I deserve answers! What are you gonna do with all these? Post it to your blog, or sell it to random creeps?”

“No! Not doing any of that!” Peter groaned, leaning on the wall, and slowly sitting on the floor. “I just…” Peter rubbed his gloved hands on his masked face, sighing. “I just like taking pictures of you…”

Wade had his mouth open again, his boxes were shouting nonstop, he shook his head, mentally telling them to shut the fuck up. “Wait, wait. Hold the phone… You… Spider-Man, likes taking pictures.. of me?” Peter giggled, he actually just fucking giggled, and Wade choked. “What the shit? You like - You like my body? You like this?” Wade tried to pose, maybe stick his ass out a little, but the webs were literally limiting his movements.

Peter took his mask off fully, but he was staring at the floor. Wade was thankful for that, because now he could see Peter’s face too pink from being too flustered. “Yeah… kinda have been for a while now.” Peter glanced up at Wade but he looked down quickly. “I've been doing this for over a year now… I'm - I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done this. At first it was just a couple few, I stopped after that, I felt bad, because I don't have your permission... but I couldn't stop.. you were just… too beautiful for me to not take a picture every time.. I-I’ll get rid of these by tomorrow, I promise, I'm sorry again. I-”

“Wait. Shut up for a second… Do you?... Do you actually really like me?” Peter bit his lip, and nodded, still staring at the wooden floor. Wade gasped. “Holy fuck.” The gasp and the curse, were both because he was surprised that Peter who's actually Spider-Man likes him, and thinks he's beautiful for over a year now, and also because Peter biting his lower lip is hot as hell. “I swear to god if you're lying about liking me and thinking I'm beautiful, I swear I'll rip out all your limbs and sew it back!”

“I'm not lying.” The brunet leaned back on the wall, continuing. “When you saw me on the street, I asked you out for pizza, because I wanted to slowly make a move, okay? Not as Spider-Man, but as Peter.”

“Why didn't you just ask me as Spider-Man, you know I would have agreed so easily. I'm a fool for that ass!” Peter giggled again. It was just a laugh, but it was cute, so Wade considers it as a giggle.

“You were sad, and I wanted to cheer you up, but I didn't have my suit on, so I just, went right in, and asked you..”

“Oh my gosh wow. I have an admirer!” He went to fist bump the air, but then he remembered he's still webbed to the wall. “Psst, Spidey, can you get me out now? Webbing the person you're crushing on, on the wall isn't really a way to win their heart.”

The younger man chuckled, standing to rip the webs off of Wade. “You really going to rip out my limbs and sew them back if I break your heart?”

“Yeah, but I'm gonna rip off your clothes first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sorry about the Peter having a collection of Wade thing, I just couldn't help myself, I couldn't post a one shot that's completely normal, doesn't have anything weird/creepy going on. 
> 
> That's that! sorry it's trash. Thank you for reading. If you wanna, you can go to my twitter: heatsLgnature say hi, and maybe be a friend or whatever! I'm always up for making friends. Anyway, thank you again, and have a lovely day!


End file.
